They are affection or love and integrity. Most of us do not know what it means to be affectionate.
To us, it is a word which we casually use without much significance. Love is of course something very carefully guarded, something with which we are not so familiar, though we use the word so glibly, so facilely - love of the country, love of truth, love of life and many many loves that we talk about; and we do not think it has anything to do with this.
The ingredient - if we may use that word which is absolutely necessary is the quality of affection and integrity. we don't mean by integrity any form of pattern of belief, nor do we mean it as integrity according to the experience through which we have to live; but we mean that integrity that comes about when we begin to observe every movement of our own thought and when no thought is hidden.
We do not wear a mask, we do not any longer pretend to be something other than what we actually are; and therefore there is no discipline, no fancy, no worship; and out of that comes the external sense of integrity we mean that kind of integrity, not the person who has belief and lives according to that belief, not the person who is sincere but with certain ideals, not the person who follows a certain discipline or tries to bring about an integration emotionally or intellectually. Such efforts do not bring out integrity.
On the contrary, they increase conflict, misery. Whereas the integrity that we are talking about is the quality of seeing the fact every minute, not trying to translate the fact in terms of pleasure and pain, but letting the fact flower without choice, without opinion - out of which seeing comes integrity which is never altered. Now these two, affection and integrity, are necessary.
